The beginning of BTS’ Black Swan Art Film shows a quote by Martha Graham, “A dancer dies twice — once when they stop dancing, and this first death is the more painful.” The song accompanied by beautiful visuals makes us realize that the said quote isn’t only applicable to dancing but generally on whatever your passion may be.
The song tackles the idea of loosing what you love to do being your “first death” and how terrifying it is because you can’t pinpoint the exact time when it happens. On how the “death” isn’t an exact second but a prolonged period of time.
Losing that spark for something you thought you’d love with everything in you for your whole life (even if it’s only lost temporarily) is one of the most isolating feelings because it leaves you wondering what are you gonna do now.
In my case, I used to think I am so passionate about writing. Despite knowing that technically and creatively I’m not the best writer out there. I just made myself better by saying- “Well, at least you’re passionate about it”. Or maybe I am not because circumstances in life happened that furthermore proved my lack of skills and capabilities, I haven’t been able to write for years now. But I already let go of that idea and I am gradually accepting that it isn’t for me. Now, I am slowly exploring myself trying things and seeing if it will resonate with me.
What about you, did you experience your “first death”? If yes, what is it? Or are you still searching for it?
To you, to me; to us… I hope our passion comes back or if it doesn’t I hope we stumble across something that makes our heart beat the same way.
-N.
DESTROYING INHIBITIONS 